We all know that doing things in life- takes energy. However, how much energy these things require differ from person to person, it can also be affected by things such as mental health, current situations, sleep and nutrition.
I didn’t really think about this until a social situation came up and in my head I didn’t want to go, but I wasn’t sure why. It was a birthday party of a good friend of mine, who I don’t get to see too often, it was fancy dress (which I normally love) and it was back at where I grew up, but I couldn’t imagine it being a good experience.
Then my forever wise sisters made an observation about me that made so much sense.
There were too many layers too this for me, and even though I am coping miles better with anxiety at the moment, this was a little too much.
I was told I am an introvert, this isn’t a bad thing it just means that social interaction takes energy. Energy that I am more than happy to use most of the time, but it also means that once that energy has run out I go pretty quiet and unfocused, which can make me seriously crap company for people that don’t know me.
Don’t get me wrong I don’t suddenly turn into a gremlin that people have to deal with, I will cover it as long as necessary but I might look like I’ve gone a little.
There are, of course, family and close friends who I am more than comfortable to get like this with, they just nap with me or let me watch the telly quietly. It sounds far more dramatic than it is, I have as much energy as the next person, I’m not lacking in energy, but if I am tired for any reason…you can tell.
So in this instance:
It takes energy to engage in social interaction
Having to use energy to overcome anxiety
To engage with people who look one way and I wouldn’t recognise another time
Driving long distance
Then too add in the fact that I’d had a bad week sleep wise and I was therefore energy deficient
And big sis simply laid this all out for me then said
“it can’t be done as there isn’t enough in your energy bank account”
And that visualisation of the energy bank just made it so clear to me.
This is something I have always had to think about- which nights in the week are going to be late nights and how early can I got to bed other nights to compensate for that, it is something I have had to really have a word with myself about recently as it had gotten to the point where I was concerned if I wasn’t in bed by 9.30 every night. Not your typical 25 year old behaviour!
But I am doing much better with this now- I know I don’t have to go to bed that early to function in life, in fact, I was probably over sleeping. I know I can have a couple of late nights and not freak out. I hated missing that birthday party (as I am never normally one to miss a birthday) but sometimes you really need to think about how much you can really get away with pushing yourself.
It sounds so silly but I may not be the only one who has had to deal with this issue when it comes to anxiety and if one person reads this and thinks ‘oh my god I never thought about it like that, that makes so much sense’- as I did, then I’m happy I took the time to write it down.
Peace out x