Everyone has something going on, the stigma on mental health means that most people go with out diagnosis and without any kind of help or support. That can be as little as someone asking them how they really are and allowing them to speak freely.
So I am continuing on this Mental Health Awareness Week talking about my mental health.
At 10 years old I was more than happy to sing ‘Fame’ solo at the school concert, yet I spent every class register rehearsing in my head how I was gonna say “Yes” or “here” in my head- sounds strange right?
I’d be showing off in ballet yet spiralling over the way someone had said something to me two days before.
I could always make plenty of friends on a night out but when it came to people I had to spend more than an evening with I would become shy and quiet.
I can be desperate to get out of the house but seeing a group of people I haven’t seen in a while could make me feel physically nauseas.
Give me the lead in a show any day but ask me to write an email or send off a CV and it could take me a while (plus several proof reads from my older sister).
There have been times where I’ve spent days at a time with butterfly’s in my chest…oh yes not my stomach, but my bloody chest.
Just receiving a text saying “can I call you later” or “I need to talk to you” can set my hands off shaking uncontrollably (and I don’t just mean from guys!)
I used to think I was just an over thinker, a worrier, that I was just being silly. Most people would never know. I can cover it up so successfully that only my family and very close friends can see when I’m freaking out.
Sometimes I don’t even realise what has triggered me. And triggers can be so different to each individual.
It is manageable. It is.
I am a happy person, I smile all the time and that is not fake, I’m very easily amused and I can be pretty silly most of the time.
And it is so much more common than people care to admit.
The more people talk about their mental health the more people can live freely and not hide because of an unnecessary stigma. The more people talk about it the easier it becomes for everyone, because everyone is affected in one way or another.
Since deciding to talk openly and freely about my mental health and mental health in general it has been so much easier to deal with on a day to day basis, I can contact family or friends to reel me back when I’m over thinking, I can call certain people to talk me through breathing when I’m having a panic attack (not happened in about 2 months now) and I can say when I am in a situation I don’t like or is making my uneasy and comfortably walk away.
And that can be all it takes, just saying something or asking something can prevent an anxiety attack.
Its okay to say